Some people are born risk takers - they seem almost casual about leaping into commitment- be it financial, relational, or career. This, however, is not me.
I am currently typing this on the first computer I have ever bought. Yes, I was a computer virgin. I made it through four years of university without feeling the urge to drop some dough on a laptop. Actually I take that back, I felt the urge I just fought it. In fact fighting urges is something I have made into an art form. (I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not just a computer virgin.)
Well my current car is at 280,000 km and the need to purchase a new car has been looming over me for months. But I have been putting it off. I have a million excuses that I use to convince myself that I don’t need to buy another car yet: its too expensive- I could just take transit-- my car works why sell it?
But the truth is I am afraid. The fear of making the wrong choice, getting myself in a financial bind, or feeling trapped, overwhelm me. This is the same fear that kept me trudging off to the library to use email, scheduling paper writing around when room mates were using their computer, and avoiding male relationships so that my first kiss was with a cast mate not a boyfriend.
But the times my friends they are a changing. I have purchased a laptop, leaped out into auditions and career, and am looking into buying a smart car. The fear is still there buts its nagging no longer clings to me like a familiar friend - it is anxiety that I know is nothing but an obstacle.
This is one tall girl who is about to buy one small car and while I might not be ready to fly over uncharted roads, this gal’s switching lanes, and life better watch out.
2 comments:
Your so fun. I love your blog already and you only have one post. Good luck as you venture into this new season of your life :)
Well thankyou I think since this is online and all I am going to have to come up with pseudonyms for people in my stories--
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