I have just returned home from work, hours later than usual and burdened with a paper bag of groceries. The three items in the bag: a sausage roll, a block of aged cheddar, and a couple of Italian chocolates -- are as close as I could get to the staples of basic nourishment. I did not buy them for myself and they stare up at me like leftover Eucharist host, spirit filled but purposeless. I, somewhat guiltily, heat up the sausage roll for my supper and try to ignore the abandoned cheese and chocolates in their bag on the dining room table. Who knew dairy products could be so convicting?
This was not how I saw my evening panning out.
It all started when a shard of glass got lodged in my tire this morning on the way to work. By 4pm my tire was as flat as a botched boob job. So, annoyed, but excited to use my smart-car 12inch electric air compressor, I blew the tire back up and drove to the nearest Kal-tire. An hour later I was back on the road with a patched tire and -surprisingly- no bill (oh the perks of being young and female in an automotive shop).
As per usual I got lost when I tried to find a new route home and ended up stuck at a light going the wrong way up Terminal Ave. As a young man begging approached my car I did the usual locked-door-windows-up-avert-eyes routine; but as he paced with his hand drawn sign "Travelling, broke, hungry...anything helps" my eyes misted over. God loves this boy, this boy that can't be much older than my little brother, who was covered in scrapes and sores -- marks of travelling a path that no one had cleared for him. I realized I did have fifteen dollars in my purse but I was in conflict, wasn't it bad to encourage 'these people' with money, what if he threatened me, what if...?
The light changed and I drove away leaving his hollow face behind. And as my free tire gripped the road Christ gripped my heart "I was hungry and you did not feed me, I was naked and you
didn't give me clothes..." The grossness of my fear and prejudice slapped me in the face - there is no such thing as "those people" there are all His creation, His people. I changed my route again and headed to the Italian bakery down the road.
If you know me, or have even read my few posts you will notice I am a girl accustomed to fear. I am not taken by fits of passion or bravery -- at least, on my own I'm not. But in this moment I felt I could walk through fire, the courage of God surpasses my understanding! So I walked into the shop and got chocolates and cheese, and a sausage roll at the shop next door. I was freed knowing this money was not mine, not really, and found myself tipping the cashier. When I walked back onto the street a man begged for 70 cents and instead of turning away I gave him all I had. I drove back to the stop light thinking of how I would offer the food; but the boy had left, I searched the streets looking around the intersection, but he had moved on...a hungry traveller still.
I looked around the streets as I drove home, trying to see someone who could benefit from the food. And what I saw amazed me, for the first time I really saw the people who lived in East Van. Many hungry travellers in their own way -- some lost, some searching, and all hungry. Somehow my bread and cheese felt heavy. The need was big and my offering too small. Disappointed I pulled up to my house, and brought the food into the house with me.
Somewhere a boy is hungry and alone while I am full.
Thirsty and I am satisfied-
Naked and I am clothed.
This was not how I saw my evening panning out.
It all started when a shard of glass got lodged in my tire this morning on the way to work. By 4pm my tire was as flat as a botched boob job. So, annoyed, but excited to use my smart-car 12inch electric air compressor, I blew the tire back up and drove to the nearest Kal-tire. An hour later I was back on the road with a patched tire and -surprisingly- no bill (oh the perks of being young and female in an automotive shop).
As per usual I got lost when I tried to find a new route home and ended up stuck at a light going the wrong way up Terminal Ave. As a young man begging approached my car I did the usual locked-door-windows-up-avert-eyes routine; but as he paced with his hand drawn sign "Travelling, broke, hungry...anything helps" my eyes misted over. God loves this boy, this boy that can't be much older than my little brother, who was covered in scrapes and sores -- marks of travelling a path that no one had cleared for him. I realized I did have fifteen dollars in my purse but I was in conflict, wasn't it bad to encourage 'these people' with money, what if he threatened me, what if...?
The light changed and I drove away leaving his hollow face behind. And as my free tire gripped the road Christ gripped my heart "I was hungry and you did not feed me, I was naked and you
didn't give me clothes..." The grossness of my fear and prejudice slapped me in the face - there is no such thing as "those people" there are all His creation, His people. I changed my route again and headed to the Italian bakery down the road.
If you know me, or have even read my few posts you will notice I am a girl accustomed to fear. I am not taken by fits of passion or bravery -- at least, on my own I'm not. But in this moment I felt I could walk through fire, the courage of God surpasses my understanding! So I walked into the shop and got chocolates and cheese, and a sausage roll at the shop next door. I was freed knowing this money was not mine, not really, and found myself tipping the cashier. When I walked back onto the street a man begged for 70 cents and instead of turning away I gave him all I had. I drove back to the stop light thinking of how I would offer the food; but the boy had left, I searched the streets looking around the intersection, but he had moved on...a hungry traveller still.
I looked around the streets as I drove home, trying to see someone who could benefit from the food. And what I saw amazed me, for the first time I really saw the people who lived in East Van. Many hungry travellers in their own way -- some lost, some searching, and all hungry. Somehow my bread and cheese felt heavy. The need was big and my offering too small. Disappointed I pulled up to my house, and brought the food into the house with me.
Somewhere a boy is hungry and alone while I am full.
Thirsty and I am satisfied-
Naked and I am clothed.
Lord Jesus have mercy
have mercy on us all.
Amen
1 comment:
Thank-you Jackie. It is so easy for us to turn our hearts and minds away from people. This is a fantastic, heart renching reminder.
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